Six Elements of Thriving Relationships by Esther Perel

  We are wired to connect. So, how can we create the best possible connections (romantic and otherwise)? I believe that great relationships are often made up of these basic elements:  1. A FEELING THAT WE MATTER We want to feel that we are valued, recognized, seen and cared about. We are creatures of meaning and we need to know that we matter.  2. ADMIRATION Respect is important, but admiration even more so. Admiring someone implies an acknowledgement of the "other" and recognizes what is unique and specific about another person.  3. CONNECTION We carry others inside of us and they carry us inside of them. This is the most powerful antidote to our existential aloneness. It also allows us to feel free and respect the freedom of others.  4. MUTUALITY There is a sense that we are both looking after one another. You are there for me and I am here for you.  5. RECIPROCITY You will be kind to me and I will do something for you, just because I thought of you am happy to have you in my life - not because of what you do or how well you performed. 6. TRUST You can't play when you don't trust. Hide and seek is the oldest universal game. The thrill of hiding while knowing the others are looking for me. The more we trust, the farther we are able to venture.  WATCH VIDEO: a 2-minute Business Insider video about the 6 elements. 

 

We are wired to connect. So, how can we create the best possible connections (romantic and otherwise)? I believe that great relationships are often made up of these basic elements: 

1. A FEELING THAT WE MATTER
We want to feel that we are valued, recognized, seen and cared about. We are creatures of meaning and we need to know that we matter. 

2. ADMIRATION
Respect is important, but admiration even more so. Admiring someone implies an acknowledgement of the "other" and recognizes what is unique and specific about another person. 

3. CONNECTION
We carry others inside of us and they carry us inside of them. This is the most powerful antidote to our existential aloneness. It also allows us to feel free and respect the freedom of others. 

4. MUTUALITY
There is a sense that we are both looking after one another. You are there for me and I am here for you. 

5. RECIPROCITY
You will be kind to me and I will do something for you, just because I thought of you am happy to have you in my life - not because of what you do or how well you performed.

6. TRUST
You can't play when you don't trust. Hide and seek is the oldest universal game. The thrill of hiding while knowing the others are looking for me. The more we trust, the farther we are able to venture. 

WATCH VIDEO: a 2-minute Business Insider video about the 6 elements. 

Follow Esther Perel on Facebook and visit her website. She's a pearl of wisdom! 

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